february 10, 2019 — 1:38 pm.
i sat at a coffee shop and watched as the white flakes fell elegantly.
i walked around a park that was filled with snow.
i made amends with old friends, and built trust with new ones.
i went to the beach and forgave myself. the last time i was there — i could have been so much more — but it is what it is, and i’ll never forget about it. in my mind, there’s no such thing as a positive or negative event. only experiences.
i saw ships stationed at the harbor, one read “courageous”, while another read “pursuit”. i thought about the feelings i had in mid january. i smiled, because it reminded me of her.
i met a single mom. we talked about the importance of a healthy existence. she told me that i should talk to more strangers. we laughed. i told her to keep fighting. i accidentally spilt coffee on her, but she hugged me anyway.
i played a nostalgic video game that brought me back to when my life was filled with unlimited imagination. times where i worried— not about what i didn’t do — but what i should be doing now.
i talked with a homeless youth about the importance of self love, and they listened.
i hugged my mom every time i got the chance.
i got drinks with a friend who has had my back for years. he wouldn’t stop being nice to me. i think he knows how grateful i am for him, even if i haven’t said it yet.
i met a dude outside the bar. he complimented my boots and we swapped stories for awhile. he hugged me afterwards. i miss that guy.
i brought my high school best friend to an unforgettable graveyard. i could see he was at peace that day. i love that dude. he’s one of the strongest people i know.
i talked to my brother about what i should do, and like always he knew exactly what to say. even though we weren’t raised together, he will be the closest thing i have to a male family member who gives a shit about me.
i spent time with my grandpa. sometimes i wish he was still around. he was a romantic, just like me. he understood love better than i. even though he’s gone, he still gets me.
i spent moments in pain, but it didn’t bother me. i’ve learned to love these emotions. they are me, and processing them is healthy.
i spent more moments in peace.
i prayed to God before bed every night. he helped me feel content.
i sat at a coffee shop and watched as the white flakes fell elegantly.
i watched myself write this, and loved every word written.
sitting by sails. 